I’m too afraid to write you a poem. Far more than heights, far more than spiders. It is not a fear I’m willing to avoid, to leap, to jump or to kill. I will not step over this walking shadow of expectations. I will not pray this ghost away.
I will pray for him to stay.
Because as long as I feel a thousand of possibilities and insecurities shivering down my spine, my verses will hang unwritten. Floating over this colorful – but bright – abyss between not good enough and not feeling at all.
I’m savoring this uncertainty.
I’m treasuring every signal I might’ve misread, for that has been teaching me how to stay afloat when the ocean is far too much troubled.
I’m embracing the wholeness of myself.